I know being Rick Rolled might have gotten slightly old, but being Rick Rolled by the president? We can’t stop lauging, and neither should you!

Now, when YouTube visitors use the site’s search box, they will see the ad belonging to the winners of the keyword auction alongside their search results.

Google’s YouTube and AdWords on Wednesday solidified their long-rumored relationship, an arrangement that allows video makers to promote their videos on YouTube search results pages.

The union of the couple is called YouTube Sponsored Videos. It promises to increase revenue generation at YouTube and to help obscure auteurs get noticed, provided they’re willing to outbid well-to-do studios for keywords like “movie trailer.”
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1. The pitter patter of little feet
2. Never let ‘em see you sweat
3. Your parents might realize that you’re not 12 years old anymore
4. Naked men
5. Guilt, guilt, and GUILT
6. You might like it
7. Rhenquist, Scalia, Kennedy, Souter, Thomas
8. Paying back oral sex debts
9. Only pagans procreate
10. Castration
11. You might fall in lust or, Heaven forbid, love
12. Body hair
13. Too many lights on in the room
14. Your roommate and neighbors can’t sleep with all that screaming
15. Axl Rose Read the rest of this entry »

Standalone          Cluster

Hot swap            RAID-0

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ORIGINAL

The 2008 Presidential elections are here, and your vote counts!

Don’t be left in the dark this year about the results. For we have the power of the INTERNETS!

this site http://www.cnn.com/ELECTION/2008/results/full/#P will list the results of the election as they receive them.

Here’s a list of handy tips. None of them a guaranteed, but many work or are worth a try. A few of them seem too outrageous to work, but when I’ve got black shoe polish on my white sofa, I’ll try anything to get it out!

1. To fit more food in the freezer, cut out the cooking instructions from the pack and seal them, with the food, in clear plastic bags. The rest of the outer packaging goes into the recycling bin.
2. When hanging a picture, put corn plasters on the corners at the back and you’ll prevent it leaving any marks on the wall.
3. If you’ve got small nail holes on white walls and don’t want to repaint, fill them with some white toothpaste.
4. Keep a roll of plastic bags in your beach bag. They are handy for taking home wet bathing suits, keeping sand out of your sun lotion or camera, storing litter and holding leaky containers.
5. Hold a kitchen match in your mouth when peeling an onion and it will stop the tears.
6. To take away the onion smell on your hands afterwards, rub your hands with a stainless steel spoon.

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Written by a guy. After years of experience.

1. Whatever you do, don’t just show up at their house…they run around in their underwear just like we do.

2. Don’t cheat on them. It may seem foolproof, but girls tell each other everything about everything. Trust me, they WILL find out and you will be mud.

3. Beware of every single male relatives and all guy friends. Any of them would kick your butt at the drop of a hat, and a lot of them wouldn’t even wait for the damn hat.

4. Never miss an opportunity to tell them they’re beautiful.

5. Don’t refuse to kiss in front of your friends. If they laugh at you, it’s because they’re jealous.

6. If they slap you hard, you deserved it.

7. Don’t be afraid to touch them if you want to. If they’re going out with you in the first place, it’s because they like being in your arms.

8. If you don’t sleep with them, do not tell your friends that you did.

–8.5. If you DO sleep with them, don’t tell your friends that you did.

9. You can be dirty minded in private, really…most of them are not offended by it…

10. Not all of them eat like birds, a lot of them can eat like whales.

11. Most of them don’t mind paying half of everything, but they do discuss these things with their friends. Realize that if you make your girlfriend pay half all the time, everyone will know about it and your friends will know you’re a *****.

–11.5. Do you honestly need all your money that much? Be a man, pay all the time!

12. Every girl should eventually get three things from her boyfriend- a stuffed animal, one of his sweatshirts, and a really pretty ring. Even if it’s not a serious relationship.

13. Make sure she gets home safely as often as you can. If you’re dropping her off, walk her to the door. If you aren’t dropping her off, call to be sure she’s home safely.

14. If a guy is bothering her, it is your right to kick the crap out of him.
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Dear Mexican, Why do Mexicans call white people gringos?

It was the type of impolite question few people would dare ask in everyday Southern California, much less in print.
“Dear Gabacho,” began Gustavo Arellano’s answer in the OC Weekly alternative newspaper. “Mexicans do not call gringos gringos. Only gringos call gringos gringos. Mexicans call gringos gabachos.”

Arellano went on to explain that gabacho is a sometimes pejorative slang term for white Americans, with “its etymological roots in the Castilian slur for a French national.”

“Ask a Mexican,” the newspaper headlined it.

The column, published in 2004, was meant as a one-time spoof, but questions began pouring in.

Why are there so many elaborate wrought-iron fences in the Mexican parts of town? What part of the word “illegal” do Mexicans not understand? Why do Mexicans pronounce “shower” as “chower” but “chicken” as “shicken”?

Arellano has responded each week, leading an unusually frank discussion on the intersections where broader society meets the largest and most visible national subgroup in the country: Mexicans.

Nothing is taboo. When asked to explain the inclination of Mexicans to sell oranges at freeway offramps, he fired back:

“What do you want them to sell — Steinways? According to Dolores, who sells oranges off the 91 Freeway/Euclid onramp, in Anaheim, she can earn almost $100 per week hawking the fruit. That averages out to more than $5,000 a year — and since it’s the underground economy, she doesn’t pay taxes!”

Excerpt. Full story here